Have You Noticed Your Breathing Lately?

My last post was about managing our energy not our time - Managing Energy Not Time - Refuelling at the Dog Park.

I love this idea because time is finite but our energy is boundless. I would rather be working from a boundless standpoint and I am sure you would too. Our physical energy is one of the four sources of energy and the most fundamental. One of the simplest and most profound ways that we can manage our physical energy is to manage our breathing. Breathing is a tool that we always carry in our tool box. I am sure this is not news to you: we hear exhortations to "breathe" everywhere, in yoga, meditation, mindfulness training, relaxation workshops. But how often do you actually slow down enough to notice your breathing? Once a week? Every day? Every couple of hours? I know I would benefit of being more aware of my breathing and I suspect you would too. I have become more aware of my breathing as I am beginning to understand its incredible importance. Awareness is the first step towards change. Now I am working on the change part! Like you, probably, I grew up being advised to "take a deep breath" and get on with things. So, yes, I'd heard the advice before, but I hadn't really really heard it or really really acted on it and noticed a huge difference. For one thing, I don't think one breath is enough. It takes a series of breaths to really make a difference.

In The Power of Full Engagement, which I also mentioned in my last post, they suggest a simple exercise, which involves a series of breaths, to make more energy for yourself - breathe in for 3 counts and out for 6 counts, several times in a row. I will get back to this exercise below; first, I want to share a couple of personal anecdotes around breathing, in the hope that they might underline its importance to you and to me.

When I was a young corporate lawyer, my co-workers would notice that I was holding my breath and tell me to breathe. This happened on several occasions. I wasn't even aware that I was not breathing. I felt very stressed, yes, but I was completely disassociated from my body and my breathing, or lack thereof. Has this happened to you?

I was trying to work without breathing. Hmmmm. Now, the little I know about brain functioning tells me that I cannot focus well when I am not breathing, let alone give good legal advice. No doubt my lack of oxygen was setting off loud alarm bells for my amygdala, the primitive part of my brain which can tell me to be fearful and anxious, and causing me to be even more stressed than I already was. If I had known the power and importance of slow deep mindful breathing, repeatedly and often, and actually implemented this knowledge, I think I would have felt a lot calmer on Bay Street. I am sorry to say, it took me a few more years before I learned this. I am hoping, that, by writing this blog post, you might learn it at a younger age than I did.

The second anecdote occurred a few years later when I was giving birth to my second child. Having been medicated as much as humanly possible during my first childbirth experience, I was bound and determined to do things differently the second time round. I hired a doula and hoped to not have to use any drugs. I was going to use breathing instead and be as much in charge of the process as I could possibly be. (I should say I had a very experienced doctor and nurses, who actually delivered the baby, on hand too!) The funny part of this story is that my time came right at rush hour and my doula missed being at the birth. Instead, she was stuck in traffic on the Don Valley Parkway here in Toronto. Not to be deterred, she coached me and my breathing over the phone. So, I was in heavy labour and on the phone. It was a pretty funny situation, in retrospect, and even at the time I could see the humour in it, between contractions! Despite being on the phone and not present in person, my doula could tell how I was breathing and helped me focus on my breathing to give birth to a healthy baby without drugs. I was thrilled on all counts, and, of course, so was my husband, now the daddy of a girl as well as boy. Then the doula showed up with a cute hat for our baby daughter and all was well. Five years later, I harnessed my breath again and had my third child, a boy.

So, as a young lawyer, I experienced the power of not breathing and, as a mother, I experienced the power of intentionally breathing. Even still, I don't remember as often as I would like to stop and breathe intentionally. Even to this day, with all this awareness and experience, I sometimes still find myself not breathing. This state usually coincides with feeling overwhelmed, surprise, surprise. But I am working on being more aware of my breathing, and, I have to say, writing this post is certainly helping!

What about you? Is any of this touching a chord with you? If so, the next time you are feeling tired or stressed, stop what you are doing, if possible, sit down and breathe, in for 3 counts, out for 6 counts. Try for at least 5 times, in and out. Better still, make this a ritual. Find some specific times during the day when you can stop and breathe in this intentional way: maybe when you are feeling tired mid-morning or mid afternoon; or when you are about to go into a meeting or have an important conversation. Try this breathing before you reach for more caffeine or sugar or fatty snack to give you energy. I have breathed like this while driving and it has worked well. I have felt noticeably better, more focused and energetic. How about you? Want to try and let me know what you think? I look forward to hearing from you.

PS - Another breathing technique I use, for relaxation, which I learned from a yoga teacher a few years ago, is to breathe in for 10 counts and out for 10 counts, 10 times.

I find this technique particularly effective for falling back asleep in the middle of the night, when all my problems and challenges look the worst and I really don't want to be thinking about them. I want sleep. When I remember to do it, that technique always helps me to fall back asleep. Try it and let me know what you think.

PPS - You can also see the connection between what we have looked at here and another blog post I made about Jill Bolte Taylor's book, "My Stroke of Insight" - It's Not Our Whole Brain That Drives Us Crazy! Breathing intentionally like this helps calm our brain chatter and give us some peace.