Finding the Celebration in You
“In the midst of my people [in Gambia], I found it. I found the party inside of me.
The celebration that needs to happen to combat the pain and trauma of memory.
There is no creating without using you.”
- Viola Davis, Finding Me
The other day I was re-reading parts of Viola Davis’ incredible book Finding Me before lending it to one of my dear neighbourhood friends. I found myself enthusiastically taking notes, finding so many deeply nourishing tidbits I wanted to be able to share.
Well today’s the day for sharing at least one - the quote above. (It’s a snow day here, so ideal for some impromptu writing.)
These words from Viola Davis are breathtaking to me, as is much of her book.
I wonder what effect they have on you? I’d love to hear.
Her words made me pay more attention again to the message hanging from the skylight in our bathroom saying:
“Life is a dance to the music within you.”
In the last few years I’ve found much better and more consistent access to the party, the celebration, the joy, the music within me. 🎉💃🦋
A key piece of this progress has been a deeper understanding of a new perspective: that I'm allowed to feel the celebration, even as it coexists with some of my very challenging feelings.
It’s not either, or.
It’s both, and.
We human beings are complex and highly capable of experiencing more than one emotion at a time. More than one “Big feeling” at a time.
It’s normal. It’s allowed. It’s deeply needed.
This realization has been life-changing for me.
(Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, is brilliant on this topic - follow her on LinkedIn like I do. And Susan Cain in her book Bittersweet dives into this idea deeply.)
We need to have places where we can show up as all of who we are. In all our complexity, multiple discordant feelings, imperfection and messiness. Places where we don’t have to put on a mask of toxic positivity.
One of the reasons for my progress in this arena is that I now have multiple places in my life where I can practice showing up as all of who I am. And as I do so, with the help of others, I become more me. Then I'm really dancing!
One of those places is in the Empowered Women’s Circle (EWC), that I co-lead with it's Founder Dr. Catherine Hansen, along with Barbara Frensel and Migdalia Hernandez.
And I’m so pleased to say that there’s room for you in EWC too!
We open the doors a few times a year, and for this Winter "Season", the deadline is tomorrow, Thursday January 26 - so there’s still plenty of time to join us. (Remember my "better late than never" approach?)
Feeling skeptical? Bring it into the Circle. Remember, all of you is welcome!
It's a small investment of time and money that could pay off massively for you. While it may still feel like a big energetic leap of faith to join, I invite you to try! Use the energy of the new beginnings of the year and try. Practice with me.
Our theme this Winter is Expanding into New Perspectives. (Maybe this post is expanding a perspective for you? It's expanding some of mine - one of the reasons I love to write to you is that I expand into greater clarity.)
Our second session is Thursday, January 26 at 7:30 pm ET on zoom. Sessions are all recorded and put on the the beautiful, functional EWC platform.
To learn more and join us, click here.
And also reach out to me if you have questions. I'd be delighted to answer them. (It's helpful to know what's still unclear. And I love talking one-one.)
If you do join, I will personally make sure that you are scooped into the Circle, that you have everything you need to be successful there.
Let’s dance! 💃
With all my complex mix of feelings, including love, Milisa
PS If being in a Circle doesn’t feel like your thing (yet?), one-one coaching may be just the inspiration you need to find or rediscover the celebration in you. Book a Discovery Session with me here.
