Are You Resisting the YES You Feel?
Have you ever felt a huge YES for something with every fibre of your being, which is quickly followed by all the reasons why it should be a NO? I have a story about one experience I had with this.
Not surprisingly, the story is related to my work in learning about Feminine Power, which has been a big focus for me of late. A few summers ago, I was just completing the first 7-week online course in Feminine Power. I was sitting in the upper bedroom of my parents’ cottage in Quebec on the phone listening to Claire Zammit and Katherine Woodward, who was also teaching FP at the time, as they completed the finale of the course. I was feeling elated at how many breakthroughs I had had through the course, and also sad it was ending. Then they announced they would be offering the next level course very soon: Feminine Power Mastery. This announcement had a profound effect on me. I sat there on that bed and thought:
“OMG it’s finally here... Something I have been yearning for for years and could not name.”
I felt a potent mix of emotions.
I felt deep gratitude.
I felt awe.
I felt incredible excitement.
And I felt fear… “OMG I am going to have to step up... life won’t ever be the same…”
Overall, I felt a huge YES in that moment. I felt so strongly pulled toward that course, that opportunity. And yet… did I sign up right away for what I could sense would be an incredibly important transformative step for me? NO, I did not. I started to think about all the reasons why I should not sign up.
I had already spent too much money on courses.
I didn’t have enough time.
My husband would think I was ridiculous taking yet another course without having created a financially viable business.
And so I went - round and round, ruminating and stuck in not-enoughness and shame. I let myself get distracted by other things, lots of them very valuable, of course, but distractions from this issue nonetheless. And I disconnected and numbed my initial very, very strong feelings of YES. I did not share this issue with anyone. I stayed alone in it.
And, you know what? A week or two later, I developed a really bad headache. It would not go away. And I am not a person who typically suffers from headaches. I finally paused and reflected on what it was. It didn’t take me long to realize my headache was about saying NO. So, because of this pain, I worked up the courage to confide in my husband. He, bless his heart, told me I should sign up right away… that I should definitely take the course if I felt so strongly! So without any more thinking about it, I grabbed my phone, went outside, sat down on the grass and signed up. And guess what? I felt my headache just lift off my head and float away as I was sitting there on the lawn at our cottage. Wow, my body had really been speaking to me!
And, I went on to have that transformative experience in the course that I had sensed was possible… and then signed up to do the FP certification courses which I have just finished. (The process of saying YES to that is another story!)
It makes me sad to think of where I would be today if I had not signed up for that Mastery course. I think of the women I have met, and the learning I have done, and how much more connected I am to myself now as a result. I think of the women who I am able now to serve at a much deeper and more impactful level.
I am sharing this story right now because for the first time ever I am hosting a weekend retreat. I am so excited to share the Feminine Power work with a circle of women over a weekend – I know it is going to be a transformative and very fun experience for all of us. And, I can imagine you may have felt an initial YES when you heard about it, but may be beginning to allow the NO to have the final word. I am here taking a stand for the YES you felt and to invite you to ask yourself – what’s at stake here? Is the No a real No? Or is it a No that is masking a YES, with you numbing your feelings, disconnecting from yourself and your yearnings like I was doing?
There is still Room For You at this Retreat. The details are on the Retreat web page if the YES is pulling you. If you have questions, please contact me directly. The deadline for registering is Sunday, November 12, 2017 at midnight.
I am standing for you and the YES’s you are feeling!
