Seeing the World with New Eyes (Literally)!
I’m in awe of what I’m seeing now that I have new lenses in my eyes - I’m literally seeing the world with new eyes.
I had cataract surgery in January. (Cataract surgery is considered major eye surgery - they broke up my lenses with a laser, removed them and implanted new lenses.)
I’m young to have cataracts - they run in my family. Mine were still tiny but they were right in the centre of my eyes and had begun to really compromise my vision. I’d made a lot of accommodations for myself over the last few years. Most recently, I was feeling really challenged, especially driving at night. But I procrastinated on booking the surgery because I was scared. I’ve never had surgery before. (Lucky me!) However, I finally dug into courage and booked the surgery. It went well and now I’ve healed and am feeling so much gratitude and awe!
"I Can See Clearly Now" - The joy and possibility in this song, sung by Holly Cole, expresses much of what I’ve felt since the surgery.
It’s like I’m seeing the world through a high definition tv. It’s astounding and truly awesome! I realize now I was struggling to see though a fog all the time. My eyes were constantly watering - I think it’s because they were working so hard. And now the fog’s lifted and the world looks brilliant! It’s not only about colour, it’s also about details. I've been marveling at little awesome details I’ve been missing. And because my eyesight's decline been so long and gradual I hadn’t even realized I was missing them. For instance,
The beautiful details on the faces of my family - oh my goodness, their eyes! Their smiles!
The intricacies and delicacy of a single snowflake ❄️ - on one of my first walks after surgery a light snow was falling and a gorgeous snowflake landed on my dog Raska's brown fur just as I stepped out the door - I exclaimed out loud in wonder like a child. My kids were amused!
The swirling of the wood grain on our wood floors.
The single stitches on our colourful flower pillows from Mexico.
The imprint of butterflies 🦋 on our toilet paper - haha! - they’ve been there all along and I was completely unaware! (You may know I love butterflies as they are a gorgeous symbol of transformation.)
I had to slow down to heal and to sit still more often to put in eye drops four times a day. Slowing down, I enjoyed savouring these small details and colours. At first it was quite disorienting, even overwhelming, to see so well! Not so much now - I’ve adapting quickly. And it’s actually been great (very restful!) to have to lie on the couch with my eyes closed for a few minutes at a time. Maybe I’ll keep that ritual in place after my month of drops is over…
Of course there are some detailed views that are not so pretty - I can see dirt and dust now with somewhat alarming clarity! I’ve felt compelled to clean a few things… And don’t get me started on wrinkles!
I wonder if not seeing so well helped me lean on and better develop some of my other senses for the last few years - actually helped me be more embodied. I would close my eyes a lot because they were tired and then intentionally tap into some other senses. Anyway…
My vision is far from perfect. I’m near and medium-sighted. So now I have glasses for distance only.
And so going forward, I’m grateful and excited to bring my new eyes to my life and my work and let them help me continue to strive to “use my powers for good”.
Maybe I will see you soon, with my new eyes! 👀
PS You’ll notice I’ve been dwelling in the awe of it all. This has been both natural for me and intentional too. Last year I read Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life by Professor Dacher Keltner and learned more about how healthy it is to feel awe. (I’ve also written about the health benefits of savouring here - “marvelling” in awe is one way to savour… HBR has also weighed in on awe - You Need to Protect Your Sense of Wonder - Especially Now and The Power of Everyday Wonder.) Since my big intention in January was to heal my eyes well, dwelling in awe was an easy and enjoyable choice!