Do You Vacillate Between Two Ways of Experiencing Stress?
I have a question for you:
When you’re under stress, do you ever have the experience of vacillating back and forth between feeling really rigid, constricted or tight, and then at other times, feeling almost like you're in a flood, getting swept away by your emotions and all the messiness of your life?
I'm describing a pattern I've experienced many times, as have some of my clients. So, I know from experience that:
This is an unfulfilling and unsustainable way to live, work and lead; and
There’s a better way that we can all practice, as the beautiful bumbling works in progress we all are. (Hope you don't mind my calling you that - it's what I've come to call myself too.)
So, in this week’s Flowing Circle, I'll be helping you to shift out of feeling a sense of lack, rigidity and constriction and/or overwhelm and flooding, into flow and empowerment, even in the midst of these very challenging circumstances.
We'll be working to upgrade our "internal operating system" (see the quote below) for more sustainability, which is very apt for Earth Day.
Here's a quote that's inspiring the Circle:
If the demand on your computer exceeds its capacity, you can upgrade the operating system. But what does it take to upgrade your internal operating system? Understanding what’s happening in your body, mind, and emotions is at least as important to sustainable performance as the skills you bring to the work you do.
- In To Lead Better Under Stress, Understand Your Three Selves by Tony Schwartz, Emily Pines, and Kashera Booker in Harvard Business Review.
(I've been a fan of Tony Schwartz's work for years, ever since I read The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy Not Time is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, which he co-authored with Jim Loehr. That book inspired many of my early blog posts, including this one that I wrote for Earth Day ten (wow!) years ago: Our Planet Needs Us.)
The Circle's also inspired by the truth that life is flowing through us, not happening to us – so we have the opportunity to make choices as to how we’ll respond. We can be intentionally creating our lives, not just reacting to them on autopilot.
And one more inspiring quote:
“The challenge for us all is to see life as a verb not a noun. We cannot hold on to the fluid river of life, guarantee the certainty of facts, the universality of rules. We need to not only tolerate ambiguity, but learn to treasure its secrets. Being is a moving entity that never ceases to lead us down its winding path. Embracing this dynamic nature of our transient lives liberates us from the prison of our efforts to run from this reality. In mindful awareness, with the reflective hub of our minds, we can welcome this truth into our hearts and into our collective lives.”
- Daniel Siegel, MD, The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being, 2007, p.328 (I'm also a long-time fan of Dr. Siegel - his book Mindsight and his parenting books have been a huge support to me, personally and professionally.)
I'm excited to be with yet another group of amazing women at this month's Circle. On Earth day, let's,
Shift out of feeling a sense of lack, rigidity and constriction and/or overwhelm and flooding, into flow and empowerment, even in the midst of these very challenging circumstances, together
Create more sustainability and fulfillment for ourselves by working to upgrade our “internal operating systems”, together!
Come join us!
It’s never too late to Make Room For You!
Warmly, Milisa
PS: The Circles have become a place where I strive to bring my freshest ideas and create powerful experiential exercises around them. I’m inspired by many different sources, including evidence-based positive psychology, the Feminine Power teachings of one of my mentors, Claire Zammit Ph.D., as well as the context for the Circle, such as the season, and what’s going on in the world at the time and last, but not least, the women who participate. Come and join us this month!
