I Do, and I Don’t, Want to Transform

If you are anything like me, you probably have mixed feelings about the idea of transforming certain aspects of yourself or your life.

When I would hear Claire Zammit, the founder of Feminine Power, talk about how we were going to transform in the first course I took with her, I would feel a good dose of fear along with any excitement. I feared that transformation would mean that everything I had built - my marriage, my family, my friends, my work - would be on the table for transformation. That felt risky and scary. I knew there was so much goodness in my life and I didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t want to be the caterpillar, who turned to mush and then into a butterfly (the classic symbol of transformation) if that meant giving up so much of what I held dear.

And yet I was also attracted to the idea of transforming because I felt there was more I could become – I felt a strong yearning - there was more I could do and I felt the urgency of it. I felt like I had work to do in the world that I wasn’t getting done. I felt I needed to contribute more and to support other women to contribute from their fullness, so that pulled me deeper and deeper into the Feminine Power work, as I’ve written about before. And in my clearest moments, when I was really honest with myself, I could acknowledge that things could indeed be much better in pretty much all of the areas of my life that I cared about.

So, I really honour and understand and relate to any fears you have around the idea of transformation. In fact, as I say these words (since I’m actually writing this blog post as I’m walking my dog), I feel a nervousness in the pit of my stomach – it really can be scary to consider transforming. But in truth, based on what I have found, and what I have observed in my clients, transformation is a lot more exhilarating and joy-filled and a lot less scary that I thought.

And here’s something you may not realize: If you are really engaging with this post, chances are that you are already transforming… I will have more to say on this topic especially in the next couple of weeks before our next Feminine Power Women’s Circle, the theme of which is Transformation.

In the meantime, I’m wondering, what are your feelings about transformation?